Win Friends & Influence People

Dale Carnegie Book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” has been a best seller and has become a classic since its initial publication in 1936. It is considered one of the most popular books on human relations. To those who read the book the list below can be used to remind them of the things that they forgot. For those who didn’t, I encourage you to read the whole book for the many many example that it includes. Here is a summary of all the tips that are in this book. I am sure that if you decide to live your life according to these rules, you will notice a significant change very soon: Part 1 – Basics:

1. Don’t Criticise. Tell your opinion. Use the phrase “This is what I would have done differently if I were you”
2. Give sincere appreciation to others.
3. Put yourself in other people shoes. Think about what they want.

Part 2 – Do these and people will like you:

1. Get to know the other person, show sincere interest.
2. Smile.
3. Remember their names.
4. Be a good Listener.
5. Talk to people about what interest them.
6. Sincerely make people feel important.

Part 3 – Influence people to your thinking:

1. The best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Don’t tell people that they are wrong. instead, offer to check the facts together.
3. If you were wrong, admit it immidiately.
4. Start a conversation with a friendly tone.
5. Stress the things that you agree upon. Make them say “Yes” as much as possible.
6. Ask Questions. Lets them speak most of the time.
7. Let them think that your idea is theirs. Ask for advice and lead for your solution.
8. Try to understand them, so they in turn might try to understand you.
9. Respect their ideas.
10. Try to appeal to higher more nobel motives.
11. Be creative. Present your case and ideas in a dramatic way.
12. Challenge them.

Part 4 – Leadership. Transform change without Arousing Resentment:

1. If you must find fault, praise and give honest appreciation first.
2. Show people their mistakes in an in-direct way.
3. Share your mistakes, before you talk to people about theirs.
4. Don’t give orders. Suggest a different way of operation.
5. Let them save their honor.
6. Instead of punishment for incorrect actions, Reward for correct actions.
7. Give them a fine reputation to that they have to live up to.
8. Tell them that the their flaw is very small and it is easy to correct.
9. Make sure that they will be happy to do what you want them to do.

Can you share an incident that one of those tips had an influence on your life?